I'm higher than a motherfucker.
Starships
Mariana☮
Let's just make this simple.
I'm having a relationship with 'She didn't just kissed, she claimed ownership. Took his mouth with urgency, as if her life depended on her kissing him.' You know how is it when you love someone? And the hard part, the bad part, the Jerry Springer Show part is that you never stop loving someone. There’s always a piece of them in your heart. Were you so afraid of losing something you love, that you refuse to love anything? Sometimes I'd be glad if only you'd fought for me.
She fell, she hurt, she felt. She lived. And for all the tumble of her experiences, she still had hope. Maybe this next time would do the trick. Or maybe not. But unless you stepped into the game, you would never know. When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable.
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Know that the pain will pass and when it passes ,
you will become stronger , happier , more sensitive and aware .
-Mariana
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Tuesday, August 4, 2009 9:26 PM
Sometimes , i just dont know how to live my life . I just realised
that i dont really know myself . Mostly i could answer to myself
is just 'anything','i dont know' and more 'blabla' . All i want is just
to be alone . Why is that so hard ? A girl who can't even have her
own room ?! My wish to stay at dover is that , i can be alone . I can
even study better . Your thinking is that , when i stay dover , i will
cause trouble again , RiGhT ? i always know what's on your mind .
Even though when i'm doing my stuff , and your looking at me ,
and you think i'm not looking at you , i can still know you are looking
at me . I am 14 , but some people treat me like i'm 10 ? I dont flirt .
And thats whom i am . i wanna die , i want to die , im gonna die .
i wanna end my life . i cant even be with the one i love . you will say that
i dont love you , but , what have you done to me to make me love you ?
Basically , my problem is nothing . People dislike me just because they misjudge
me by my outside . I dont care if y'wanna hate me . I dont hate anyone ,
i didnt copy anyone . Like some will ask ," who teach you uh ?","you learn
from who uh ?" and more blablabla . I'm feeling super i dont know . I'm so
confused with myself . I just have no idea how to say it ..
that i dont really know myself . Mostly i could answer to myself
is just 'anything','i dont know' and more 'blabla' . All i want is just
to be alone . Why is that so hard ? A girl who can't even have her
own room ?! My wish to stay at dover is that , i can be alone . I can
even study better . Your thinking is that , when i stay dover , i will
cause trouble again , RiGhT ? i always know what's on your mind .
Even though when i'm doing my stuff , and your looking at me ,
and you think i'm not looking at you , i can still know you are looking
at me . I am 14 , but some people treat me like i'm 10 ? I dont flirt .
And thats whom i am . i wanna die , i want to die , im gonna die .
i wanna end my life . i cant even be with the one i love . you will say that
i dont love you , but , what have you done to me to make me love you ?
Basically , my problem is nothing . People dislike me just because they misjudge
me by my outside . I dont care if y'wanna hate me . I dont hate anyone ,
i didnt copy anyone . Like some will ask ," who teach you uh ?","you learn
from who uh ?" and more blablabla . I'm feeling super i dont know . I'm so
confused with myself . I just have no idea how to say it ..