Wednesday, March 2, 2011 9:21 PM
Why am I doing this to myself? I still can't forget about him :'( it's really heart-breaking, is it that what my boyf has done for me not enough to cover up memories with S? I thought that I am happy being with this guy. Urgh, whatever.
It's really easier to show that I'm mad than admitting that I am hurt. You promised and you broke it. During detention, I was like wholeheartedly thinking that we would really go to the shop and get my pokky that I've been craving about since yesterday, but I thought you just didn't bother to care, maybe that is what lacks in you for me to not forget about S. You made me trust and believe in you about it, this ain't some first time thing, you even did the same thing for the famous amos :'( You are bad. I don't like you. I am trying so hard to be strong, but I can't keep on doing this. This....this... 'trying to be' thing. Oh well, many thought I've been strong but I just tried to keep control in myself and note to self to never break down and cry. I'm jealoused, I can't say it why because only I know. You go find out yourself because THEY are the ones I HATE.
I don't care if I die soon, it's just the best if He take me away from the Earthy-nightmare. I'm so cocked up that at times I felt like hitting my head on the wall till my head bleed. You're different, too different or is it just me and my stupid emotions. I don't know why, but I've always thought of how your next girl will be, will she be better than me? Will she take your glasses off and wipe your tears when you cry? Will she understand you better than me? Will she always be there for you when you needed her the most? I hope she doesn't love you for cash. I hope she calls you every night before she sleep, send you lovely texts to you the first thing in the morning when she wakes up, doesn't beat you up when she's angry like how I do to you. I hope she will remind you of 'chaochao' before you go to sleep. I hope, she will tell you that she is sorry every time she realises how bad she treated you and doesn't plan to do so. And when you are with her, I hope you will always remember that anywhere you are, I am here.