Friday, November 23, 2012 2:58 AM
Same person, different dream, three times.
I've been having a weird dream lately, different dreams but same person. He appeared suddenly. For the first time when I had that dream, I thought it was normal and that dream would be my last type of dream. The following day, I had a dream of the same person, I'm not going to mention who because that would be the most WRONG thing to do, but I'm just so curious if this means anything because I'd dreamt of the person thrice, and I know that is not normal. When I woke up, I was thinking... if I shared the dream to someone, will that dream come true, if it doesn't then I would share. But for safety's sake, I kept it to myself.
If I'd follow my heart's advises, I'd left a long time ago. I'm just not sure what's pulling me back to stay where I don't want to stay. I can't take another of your insult, another of your scolding, another of your beating, I can't accept the fact that everytime I want to spend my day with you outside, you would change my whole good mood to a bad one. Is being with me a bad thing for you? Why do I always trouble you? I know very well that there are other girls that could make your day better than how I do. You made me feel useless. I felt used, indirectly. What have I done? How have I changed? I really can't stand it anymore.. but whenever I see you, whenever I looked back at you, the only thought that went through me mind was.. '
baby, I'm going to spend my life with you, the only way to thank you is to give you my life.' and why? because when my family wasn't by my side, he took me in, he worked his butt off to give me food and shelter and it would be a waste to leave him. On the other hand, how do I see an end to all this pain I feel? I don't see an end to it. I can't cry, I can't scream, I can't shout, I can't share to anyone.. I can't do anything.. Damn! Why must I go through a life like this.. I never wanted a life like this.. No! Not a kid at this age, I can't even feed my own kid. No.. why?.. It all happened too fast, too fast for me. Should I say, "
Someone, please save me from this misery." or "
Come on babe, stay strong. It'll get better."
If it wasn't because of my step-sister and step-brother, things wouldn't be like this.
Labels: step family singapore sad bad life baby underage hurt cry boyfriend husband love boy girl family dreams shit insult fact you me blog page useless help weird dream