Let's just make this simple.
I'm having a relationship with Aliff Bin Raffi Faizal Bin Omar
'She didn't just kissed, she claimed ownership. Took his mouth with urgency,
as if her life depended on her kissing him.' You know how is it when you love
someone? And the hard part, the bad part, the Jerry Springer Show part is
that you never stop loving someone. There’s always a piece of them in your heart.
Were you so afraid of losing something you love, that you refuse to love anything?
Sometimes I'd be glad if only you'd fought for me.
She fell, she hurt, she felt. She lived. And for all the tumble of her experiences,
she still had hope. Maybe this next time would do the trick. Or maybe not. But
unless you stepped into the game, you would never know. When we were children,
we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable.
But to grow up is to accept vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable. My HomepageTaggedTumblrTwitter
Know that the pain will pass and when it passes ,
you will become stronger , happier , more sensitive and aware .
Hi. I'm at Tanjong Pagar CC now with the rest of the people. Kompang and Chingay practice.
I thought I was pregnant until I actually came my menses, it came late. Phew! If I were really pregnant, I would run away from home for a while.. I wouldn't want to build up problems for Ichal. He already have a child of his own. I can take care of mine.
It's hard for me to type out my feelings here. I wouldn't even know where to start. Just know that no relationships can survive without a fight, ups and downs. I'm pretty much stressed up, and if I were to meet one of my readers now, I could just talk all day and end up in tears.
Monday, December 26, 2011 11:03 PM
Hereza quick update.
I'm at Candy's house at Toa Payoh :) I really had no other choice and really had to make up an update about the things that I've gone through, all the shits that happened.
Yes I may be rebelious, but I don't go for wild type. Let's not talk about sex, drugs and money. We talk about me going from one place to another with just one person by my side, my boyfriend, Faizal. Yeh I know it happened again and again. Fairytales of my love-life just won't end would they? :)
I will try to make it simple.
Previously, I had to move from Marsiling to Bukit Merah because I know I couldn't go to work if I was staying at my dad's place, he doesn't allow me to work at all.
I started my days at Bukit Merah, I was still with Aliff at that time. Searched for jobs all around town with my two friends, Meredith and Kit Yee. Credit in my ez-link became lower and lesser, without money in my life was like living without oxygen.
Went through the newspapers, went for interviews and I had my job located at Singapore Flyer. It was a good place for me to work, peaceful and wide. My presence there wasn't for long. I had to quit before I knew it. Got my salary and used it on my phone bills, ez-link and daily use. Days passed, I couldn't really get through to Aliff. Called his home and his mum would tell me that he isn't home, he hasn't come home.
I became tired of calling up. I was doing good. Staying home, going for dinner with Kit Yee and Meredith.
I was on my way to meet Kit Yee and Meredith for dinner, I was being disturbed by some guy reading my class t-shirt, had my name and a digit number on it. I stopped and turned, he asked me if I was the Mariana of Ayu's ex. If I followed my heart I wanted to say no because I don't want people to know me as HIS ex -.- but I told him yes and turned to continue my walk, he catches up with me and began talking.
I began to bump into him much often. I went to a shop nearby my house to buy my phone prepaid. The card that I bought has already passed the expiry date but the uncle told me that it still could be used. I was pretty unsure and tried to top up my phone using the same card as I walk home. I sensed someone was approaching me from the other side of the road. Faizal came up to me with a warm hi. :) we walked home together. We stayed at the same block. So we took the staircase together. He asked for my number, I stunned for a moment thinking; " should we exchange numbers? What would happen in the future? I have a boyfriend, I can't do this. " he told me again- "it's ok if you're not willing to exchange numbers, I understand." We exchanged our phones and dial our own numbers. He asked me what he should call me, I told him Yana, he asked again, I told him Nana. I only use Yana for friends who are not really close and Nana for the people that know me well.
We contacted each other, texted and called. He even came over to my house at 1 in the morning to pass me 128 top up card. I accompanied him to Chinatown to fix his phone, had lunch at Macs. I began to have busy days.
I tried calling up Aliff once in a while too, couldn't get through to him. When I was texting with Faizal, I accidentally send my message to Aliff. Aliff replied and called me immediately. I told him I was with a friend. We had a hard talk on the phone and Faizal was beside me watching as my tears fell down.
Days later, I was sleeping at home. It was at 6 plus in the evening. I was in the room and mum told me that my friend was knocking on the door. I had no clue who was it. I opened the door and Aliff was there and I was like :- Wtfish are you doing here?! :O " I rushed to get ready and went to Tiong Bahru with him and watched 23:59 and had dinner at KFC. I was so happy to see him, I was jumping around and stuff, doing all the things that I usually do, be crazy. Faizal saw me. He tailed us from behind. He planned to go out with me after Aliff was gone. But Aliff wanted to go to the void deck to talk for a while. I send him home and I got myself home. And blablabla.
I really can't play with one's heart. I don't want to. I want to be true. Faizal was just my friend. I was disappointed with Aliff because I had to spend my days with another guy and not my own boyfriend.
Faizal told me to be free on a particular Sunday. He wanted to bring me to his family's house. The day before Sunday, I told him couldn't do it. I had to stay away from him, I don't want to complicate things and my love was all for Aliff and not anyone else. No matter how bad he'd treat me, he's still my guy. We cried, had a little drama and I can't let his parents down by not coming over. I was so stressed up, had a quarrel with my mum and had to think about Aliff and Faizal too. I made my mind up to let each other know about each other. I gave them their numbers and told them to call each other and talk things out.
The Sunday came, sister called me wanting me to come home with her. I told her I wasn't free. Then I knew, it was Hari Raya Haji. I was like, omg........... Seriously o.O anw, i gtg. Tata.