I'm higher than a motherfucker.
Starships
Mariana☮
Let's just make this simple.
I'm having a relationship with 'She didn't just kissed, she claimed ownership. Took his mouth with urgency, as if her life depended on her kissing him.' You know how is it when you love someone? And the hard part, the bad part, the Jerry Springer Show part is that you never stop loving someone. There’s always a piece of them in your heart. Were you so afraid of losing something you love, that you refuse to love anything? Sometimes I'd be glad if only you'd fought for me.
She fell, she hurt, she felt. She lived. And for all the tumble of her experiences, she still had hope. Maybe this next time would do the trick. Or maybe not. But unless you stepped into the game, you would never know. When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable.
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Know that the pain will pass and when it passes ,
you will become stronger , happier , more sensitive and aware .
-Mariana
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Sunday, November 15, 2009 3:55 AM
Cry Little Heart .
The only thing i could hear was the scream of cries in my heart . " I give up , she won't change . I dont care already . Maybe i'm sending her back to her mum ." That was the only thing i heard . My step-mum , my dad & i waited for our time to get in the theatre for 2012 . I was hearing muxic , had the earpiece stuffed up in my ears , i paused .. and heard my dad's talking , he thought i was still playing the muxic .Mama monster :
Nanti kao eh jage!
Mama monster :
Bru 14 dah pandai beleseh..
Mama monster :
Engkao engat cooL.. Kao becinte dgn 'SYAITAN'
Mama monster :
Kao di alaM FANTASY..U BETA wake Up!
Mama monster :
Pandai tipu2 aku jumpe alin,alin. Pandai pkai name org,
nk mengakal aku.
Mama monster :
Beh lovebite sape bikin?alin eh.
Mama monster :
Name org laen?oh kao beler name aku kao
conteng muke aku???pulak kao tk sadar..
bijak pale hotak engkao.
Mama monster :
Beh,kao beleseh dgn jantan etu aku nak kene
DIAM jugak ker.?
Mama monster :
Ank derhake!
Mama monster :
Si Ber0k tu nk jahanamkan engkao,kao
jgn tepengaroh dgn jantan tak baik cam dier etu.
Dier binatang!
-- There's more , i dont wanna go on .. i read it again and again , i cried . I'm always having these kinds of msgs from my one and only MAMA MONSTER . She make me hate her more & more . Ayu didnt know how much it hurts me to be reading these kinds of msgs every week . Told Ayu to imaginate himself into me , i forward all of the msgs . I shouldnt have sent it to him . It hurts him too , he is my happiness and you're killing it ?! My mum doesnt even know me anymore and so do my dad !! I've been thinking of running away again , nobody even love me . My dad once told me that friends are not important , he asked me to choose between education and friends . i was like , of cos he was expecting 'education' to be its answer . I miss Ayu more than ever now , kept on thinking about him since morning . Anw , i'm kinda tired . I wanna sleap . Nights && goodmorning .