I'm higher than a motherfucker.
Starships
Mariana☮
Let's just make this simple.
I'm having a relationship with 'She didn't just kissed, she claimed ownership. Took his mouth with urgency, as if her life depended on her kissing him.' You know how is it when you love someone? And the hard part, the bad part, the Jerry Springer Show part is that you never stop loving someone. There’s always a piece of them in your heart. Were you so afraid of losing something you love, that you refuse to love anything? Sometimes I'd be glad if only you'd fought for me.
She fell, she hurt, she felt. She lived. And for all the tumble of her experiences, she still had hope. Maybe this next time would do the trick. Or maybe not. But unless you stepped into the game, you would never know. When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable.
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Know that the pain will pass and when it passes ,
you will become stronger , happier , more sensitive and aware .
-Mariana
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Friday, May 28, 2010 4:25 AM
Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us .
Oh Maria Maria
She reminds me of a westside story
Growing up in Spanish Harlem
She's livin' her life just like a movie star
Oh, Maria Maria
She fell in love in East LA
To the sounds of the guitar
Played by Carlos Santana
She reminds me of a westside story
Growing up in Spanish Harlem
She's livin' her life just like a movie star
Oh, Maria Maria
She fell in love in East LA
To the sounds of the guitar
Played by Carlos Santana
I'm kinda addicted to my old song back , haha ! I'm getting better now (: So much better than previous , with more sugar and excitement in life . "He just called , just to say , that he loves me!" Haha , addicted to that too . Nothing much to update about these days but waiting for those camp days ! 4thJune-6thJune I'm-ma have JTC , 8thJun-9thJune I'm-ma have class camp ! :D but SANA Course collides , it's on the 9thJune , damn , that week is so gonna be tight .
I'm irrevocably in love with my boyf ! like duh , who doesn't love their boyf to the maximum right ? Maybe some who just wanna play around lorhs . heeh :B I love my Sugardaddy ayy , love you so much . Lookin' forward for camps now . I just love my class . HAHA . Randomization of my thoughts babes and dudes and dukes :D
I'm irrevocably in love with my boyf ! like duh , who doesn't love their boyf to the maximum right ? Maybe some who just wanna play around lorhs . heeh :B I love my Sugardaddy ayy , love you so much . Lookin' forward for camps now . I just love my class . HAHA . Randomization of my thoughts babes and dudes and dukes :D
Monday, May 24, 2010 4:04 AM
Let's take over the world , baby .
The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly
themselves , and not to twist them to fit our own image . Otherwise
we love only the reflection ofourselves we find in them .
themselves , and not to twist them to fit our own image . Otherwise
we love only the reflection ofourselves we find in them .
(: I've got a big smile everyday ! I couldn't forget Saturday , 22/05/2010 . Went to Sentosa for the so called 'Amazing Race' , with all of the Malay people and then went to the beach with Sya . We really enjoyed ourselves there :D I was like mad with the bigbig Coke , and what's up with my ' bigbig' in this post ? .. Okay , back on track ; then bus-ed my way to school with Sya by 166 then 196-ed my way to Bukit Merah to put my heavy like a tombstone home .
Walked my way to Tiong Bahru Plaza and met Sugardaddy ! (at the traffic light -.-) As per normal , he's cute :D Went to GV to buy our tickets to The Last Song first , then we walked around before 6.4opm , which is our time of show starting , hahah . Then , I was like .. pulling him everywhere I could . Then it was 6.30 something , we went up and into the theatre . The show was effing nice when it comes to the part which the baby sea turtles had hatched , all so cute .. After the show , we walked around Bukit Merah , I showed him the bustop of the pathetic 196 and then went to the garden with him . Haha , met Charlene too up at the garden , I was like , OMG ! We find a spot to sit around , sat , and I hugged himmm XD haha , was wanting to hug him the whole day . Then I clear up my fines by kissing him all night , not really all night though , it was roughly 20 minutes , it was fun . Couldn't forget that night baby ! (: I just love you .
Okay , nothing much to say anymore because I got to go . Now is 4.32am ! :D I haven't pack my school stuff somemore .___. simply pathetic . Goodnight my dear Earthlings .
Walked my way to Tiong Bahru Plaza and met Sugardaddy ! (at the traffic light -.-) As per normal , he's cute :D Went to GV to buy our tickets to The Last Song first , then we walked around before 6.4opm , which is our time of show starting , hahah . Then , I was like .. pulling him everywhere I could . Then it was 6.30 something , we went up and into the theatre . The show was effing nice when it comes to the part which the baby sea turtles had hatched , all so cute .. After the show , we walked around Bukit Merah , I showed him the bustop of the pathetic 196 and then went to the garden with him . Haha , met Charlene too up at the garden , I was like , OMG ! We find a spot to sit around , sat , and I hugged himmm XD haha , was wanting to hug him the whole day . Then I clear up my fines by kissing him all night , not really all night though , it was roughly 20 minutes , it was fun . Couldn't forget that night baby ! (: I just love you .
Okay , nothing much to say anymore because I got to go . Now is 4.32am ! :D I haven't pack my school stuff somemore .___. simply pathetic . Goodnight my dear Earthlings .
Sunday, May 16, 2010 5:29 AM
I don’t go looking for trouble . Trouble usually finds me .
I believe that everything happens for a reason . People change so that you can learn to let go . Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right . You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself , and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together . There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama & the people who create it , and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good . After all , life is too short to be anything but happy . If my life was a storybook , I think I would've burned the pages that I couldn't understand at all like years ago . I'm really hoping this time , I'm back on track with the guy whom I love and not the other way round .
Maybe it makes sense , Farah used to thought that Him and me had broken up , she said He was the one who told her . But , he spent most of his time with me , seriously most . I miss those scene you used to show me , those anger whenever you did something wrong towards me , you went all maniac by hitting yourself and it hurts me . After all the things we've been through .. arghh , why am I thinking again ? Wasn't my mind all set ? Set to label him as a cheater and the worlds' most professional playboy ever ? I've always had the doubts that he was cheating on me . I could feel it somehow , but some parts just make me give in . This is crazy , I'm still not forgetting . I'm having STM but I can't even forget those pathetic days , or months or maybe the year ?!
All I need to do now is to tilt my head up high and reach for the stars above because those are the chances to the life I'm gonna change . They can pull me down , but I'm gonna smash them lower than how they stoop me . I love Brian David Tay (: Never thought I'm being in love with my best friend . Uh , c'mon .. my classmates are my bestfriends .
Saturday, May 15, 2010 2:15 AM
I'm like err , attached .
May 14th , will somebody just remember that date !
At last attached to him after being extremely close to each other (like a couple) for like
weeks ! omg . So , this is considered as updated , right ? (:
bdt bdt bdt , brian david tayyyy .
Didn't attend school because I woke up late then got up at 9
plus in the morning to get ready for cca (: loyalty towards cca babe ; peace .
Played ball with Brian and I stepped on my shoes and I couldn't move
and then I fell ! double you tee eff mann :D damn funny .
Ijah commented on my 2days ago status -.-
what the hell , I don't really give a daymn (: They told me to
move on , so I did , I told them guy's are lining up on me , I accepted
one and I'm proudly attached now , haha .
Razia babe ; I miss you maciam siul ah . Haha , I miss those times
we really did shared for 8years ; although there are times we don't even
know each other . Haha , you are my brain and I'm your mind , we'll
laugh like hell every single day that we rarely fight babe . You , Rhonda
and me chose our own choice of school and all three got into different
ones . I just got the feeling that maybe Rhonda has forgotten us somehow ,
but at least you did reply my text babe ; peace (: love you to the core ,
can't wait to plan up for times that we're free to go out some time .
Thursday, May 13, 2010 2:41 AM
Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows.
Happy 15th Birthday to Jacqueline and Mariana ! The best birthday I ever had (:
2010 really is rocking my life out . Darn fun ! Whole class go eh , except for some ,
and "Who ah ?" POHPOH ah .. alamak ! :D whoever "chio" you LOL . You can
tell those tales to your kids when your old dude (x
Went VivoCity then ClarkQuay! watched The Back-Up Plan , heavy sia . Hhaha , *erhem*
Brian was beside me and yes alin and jacqueline was erhem-ing me , I noticed .
It was dark and I can see their head looking at me , and Brian , heeeh , we
darn close to each other , haha , my head was on his shoulder (: omg .
He's , wait .. to me .. He's the sweetest guy , not really , but can work out . Haha ,
I don't know howta say but , he is near to "my type" of guy , we slept on the phone
alot of times together ! haha , he gave me a necklace he got from the internationalisation
trip , it looks like the one I used to have with the letter as in it , but this is with a cute B .
Hahaha , we spent LOADS of time together , like duh ! classmate what , one thing
I couldn't believe is that I'm madly in love with the one I'm with for the last two
like lmao -.- we'll be on the phone like almost everynight , haha , he said Imma miracle ,
at least that's a new one from a different guy , commonly : cute , adorable , pretty ,
beautiful , hotstuff , different , kind -.- , caring =.= , like I'll be hearing and reading that
almost everyday . Te amo mi Brian .
Now is 4:37am , May13th , Thursday . Yesterday was so called being forced to get my
ass to Bukit Merah , so after playing ball for awhile with the guys , me & heidi took 196
together then halfway Brian called me and we took turns to call each other every 5
minutes . I reached Bukit Merah already , heart was hoping so much not to see any of
Shari or links to him , I was happy and proud that I managed to walk through the
playground with my head held high with the phone sticking to my ears :D talked with
Brian cheerfully with tiny fear of seeing Shari , hahah .
Carpet came after a moment , he's getting fatter and furry-er ! so cute , haha , and I
was still on the phone with Brian , I then get out of the house and stood there because
I kinda talk a lil' bit loud , we talked and laughed till I saw Shari walking , I was like ..
Stunned , never thought I would see him again , I turned to my back and face the wall
not wanting to see his face again , or else I would be looking back to my past . He
looks fine to me |= I was still on the phone with Brian and I cried somehow , he then
asked what happend and stuff , I told him I regretted coming Bukit Merah , but do I even
have the choice to choose ? No . So , I gotta get over it , I'm living in a world of life .
I was like , omg , it felt as if I just came back from school waiting for him to turn up ,
but NO .. I was feeling like that ! But I don't want to feel like that , it was hurtful ,
I could feel the deepness of the penetrated arrow through my heart .. I almost scream
out loud .
This is life , I've been moving on with all of these stupid and positive quotes that I've
made myself read that everything can be done , moving on is easy like how others say ,
if I couldn't be in love , then don't make me waste every single second in life of happiness .
Being mature isn't what I've always wanted , adults are just kids with money . Haha .
Let these part of me be a story to my child/children . Think forward and move on , get over
it , you simply can't change the things that has happen which is the past . This was how I
wanted my life to be , normal , freedom , happiness , joy and never ending laughters .
Shit to the alarm clock , I hate it whenever it strikes 5am . Darn it .
Saturday, May 8, 2010 1:03 PM
Taurus .
Sign: The Bull
Planet: Venus
Element: Earth
Gemstone: Emerald
Flower: Honeysuckle(i love honeysuckle's smell), Tulip, Primrose
Colors: Natural Shades
Weekday: Friday
Numbers: 1, 9
Taurus Weekly Love Horoscope
The Moon is casting sweet beams into your 11th House of Groups this weekend. This is excellent for going out with friends, whether to meet someone new or simply to enjoy the company of your pals. Volunteering for a cause in which you believe in opens another door to connecting with a possible partner or gives you the chance to share your ideals with the one you already love.About Taurus
Taurus are insightful and caring, making them the ultimate host. They are strategic, yet observant and tend to be creatures of comfort. Taurus prefer a safe, stable environment where they can live peacefully and happily.While they can be quite stubborn and possessive, their relationships are generally secure. They value family and live for the people they love.
Taurus Strength: Sensible outlook
Taurus Weakness: Settling for less
I was being random for a while , haha :D just thought these facts
are somehow true facts towards me somehow . hahah :D Yay !
tomorrow shopping with my family for my birthda present , jealous
anot ? hahah .
Friday, May 7, 2010 10:31 AM
The little moments always hiding in plain sight are the ones I love.
At JTC now , located at Jurong East :D working , today last day of work .
$25 a day . It's school's wheel week , and I picked local so , I gotta volunteer
in things in Singapore , so here I am . Received my certificate a while ago .
Damn fun , all we do was just call people , kind of telemarketing ? JobsDB
are making a new website called OpenRice , and they're updating the informations
they have , so me and my friends needa call up the given 100 shops if they're still
valid , and fook out informations from them through phone (:
Today is Friday , means to say Brian is coming back to Singapore soon !
te echo de menos mi bebe ~ I'm listening to music now , Heidi's beside me ,
Jin Ping's infront of me and Alin's on the left of Jin Ping :D if you know
what I mean , Imma salute to ya . Never felt happier these days .. (:
I don't know why , certain SOUR GRAPES OF KIWI , don't understand my position .
HAHA , slutzxs . I love myself just as usual , the cooling breezy yana . I miss S3I
mannnn . Later we'll have free lunch ! haha . free lunch free lunch free lunch free
lunch free lunch . LOL , b r i a n d a v i d t a y k i t h o , te echo de menos mi querida !
I wanna dance ! I miss all of the performances we had , upcoming will be NationalDay,
I guess ? or the Dover CC ? Beat it , just beat it , prr! . hahah ! but you wanna be bad ,
just beat it ! :D When I get sad , I stop being sad , and be awesome instead . True story!
Thursday, May 6, 2010 12:53 AM
Think of the beauty still left around you and be happy.
Happy Birthday to me (: my fb was flooded with birthday wishes , a whole lot . John gave me the bigbig box of ferrero rocher ! :D haha , my mother told me to tell him to get two
boxes next time , haha ! Got sweets and lollipop from the office lady , and .. ? no more .. ? this week alot of people busy , and majority's not in Singapore .
So , I gotta wait till the next coming weeks or days .
but because I don't think we're progressing and I thought you were having the life
of your own , you didn't even tell me how you're doing , just those like .. I'm fine ,
thanks ? kinda of things .. I don't even know what's happening . Maybe our paths may
pass by each other in the tomorrow's book , but not for now . We're ages apart .
I won't forget the times and the SecondhandSerenade-FallForYou , that kept our love
singing on and on .. Haha , being with you was like being on an adventure through
with the wild alone with my husband (: get it ? so , it was full of ups and downs .
I love you , if you miss me , you know where to know about myself right ?
HERE and facebook (: much of love !
and even so , I know you're not the type who does social networking like tagged ,
facebook and friendster and myspace and those kinds , I know the one who was
in fb , your account , wasnt you at all (: now that we're no more a couple ,
I think we should move on baby . You are the most setia-est guy i've
ever met , I'm gonna miss you (: hearing your voice the last time was the
best birthday present . Thanks . You can continue to read here ,
it can also be your hobby too :'D don't cry , your family is always there
for you although you thought that they don't love you .. They do ,
but not through words , through actions . Being with you was the best i ever
had . We've got no relations now , back to strangers , we don't know each other .
do try your best to forget me , and maybe i could forget you too .
This is just fated , He should've seen my choice coming . I'm off to sleep . nights )':
boxes next time , haha ! Got sweets and lollipop from the office lady , and .. ? no more .. ? this week alot of people busy , and majority's not in Singapore .
So , I gotta wait till the next coming weeks or days .
To whom you think it may concern ,
I love you and you know it (: I left you , again , not because I don't love you anymore ,but because I don't think we're progressing and I thought you were having the life
of your own , you didn't even tell me how you're doing , just those like .. I'm fine ,
thanks ? kinda of things .. I don't even know what's happening . Maybe our paths may
pass by each other in the tomorrow's book , but not for now . We're ages apart .
I won't forget the times and the SecondhandSerenade-FallForYou , that kept our love
singing on and on .. Haha , being with you was like being on an adventure through
with the wild alone with my husband (: get it ? so , it was full of ups and downs .
I love you , if you miss me , you know where to know about myself right ?
HERE and facebook (: much of love !
and even so , I know you're not the type who does social networking like tagged ,
facebook and friendster and myspace and those kinds , I know the one who was
in fb , your account , wasnt you at all (: now that we're no more a couple ,
I think we should move on baby . You are the most setia-est guy i've
ever met , I'm gonna miss you (: hearing your voice the last time was the
best birthday present . Thanks . You can continue to read here ,
it can also be your hobby too :'D don't cry , your family is always there
for you although you thought that they don't love you .. They do ,
but not through words , through actions . Being with you was the best i ever
had . We've got no relations now , back to strangers , we don't know each other .
do try your best to forget me , and maybe i could forget you too .
This is just fated , He should've seen my choice coming . I'm off to sleep . nights )':
Tuesday, May 4, 2010 1:47 AM
If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.
*Round and round , spin that record baby , round and round*
There goes my phone ringing while I was dreaming about a tiger cub .
Woke up to reality and picked up the call , it was Brian . Haha .
Got myself ready , and reached at 1045am at Vivo , I was 45 mins late ,
was supposed to meet at 10am -.- We went to GV and booked four
tickets to Iron Man 2 .
Went to arcade after that , the usual Brian and Wei Jun went for the racing ,
then me and Jia Liang played the damn basketball thingy , after awhile we dragged
Brian and Wei Jun along , then , we played another round , you know what Wei Jun
and Jia Liang did ? They climbed up to the machine and shake the net with force ,
you know the metallic thingy ? yeah .. that thingy , UNTIL BREAK . HAHAHAHAHAHA !
epicly funny sia , I laughed my butts off . Then Brian gimme ferrero rocher for my birthday
which is in two days time , on wed (:
Watched Iron Man 2 after playing around .. The show was great (: Then after movie
the guys wanted to get to the arcade again I told'em I'll meet them inside 'cos I wanna
look around for the cat's collar thingy .. After for maybe about half an hour , I found the
nicest one ! I went to the cashier with the guys and took out my $3 , the cashier told me
the price and a greenish $5 flash out to the cashier before I got my $3 -.- Brian pay
for me ! :D haha , he said take it as a 2nd birthday present :D haha ! shweet :D Was with
heidi by then , met at the petshop .
Went burgerking and lunch , wahheeeh :B me & brian hold hands . omgeeez .
okok (: he was funny and crappy cute , i laughed for like almost the whole day , the best
day although we didn't quite took a picture together :D hahah !
I just finished crying by the way , for some reasons . sigh , I'm off to sleep now , gotta work
tomorrow and meeting Brian in school 'cos he's going to Malacca for a few days :| okay ,
goodnights !
Monday, May 3, 2010 12:43 AM
Life is not the amount of breaths you make, it’s the moments that take your breath away.
Dearest Mingky Brian , I love you babyboy , april30th'10 , I'll remember the day I found you (= I miss you so much , although I was sad much with the release of you to your mum , but you really need your mum or you'll die . Don't worry , when you're older , Imma get back to you baby ! You just gotta remember me okay Mingky ? One thing why I'm not so regretful , it's because I at least have your pictures (: although we're just together for a day and a night , I'm still gonna cherish every moment of it baby . I love mingkybrian ! I'm gonna buy a nice neckchain for you aites , for so , I hope you won't be caught by anyone before I could actually let you wear the chain . I miss you Mingki .
I've been busy with my classmates lately , haha ! It's like my life is back on track as if
I've never knew anyone from the public area , example ; Shari , he was the first outside school friend I had , and so he became my boyf .. and then we were happy , the next thing I knew is that I'm back to being alone and emo , but still the rocking kind . It's hard to explain how life is , or maybe we never were meant to judge it . It's a long story of how I've live my life .
This is my life and that's just the way I wanna live it . When I say don't judge me , means don't cos I'm not like the way you judge me , so what if I like to be disgusting and lame and rocking to the coolest ? That's just my life . HAH , go ahead and tell others of what you think I am when I'm not . That's how you're attitude is , being immature in your mind . My classmates are already like my siblings with hatred but most of all they're always there to make you happy and irritate you to the max -.-"
Sometimes , I felt happy receiving your message baby , but at times I just got tired to be waiting again and longer . You're fading , maybe I shouldn't have asked you to be mine .. Maybe the way it was , was meant to be that way and I shouldn't change it , everyone needs to move on . Don't take my words wrongly hun , I'm not saying I don't need you anymore , it's just that I don't see the point in being in a relationship with you and not progressing to anywhere . Speaking of which , I almost forgot , my birthday is coming , and it's in two days time . I don't know whatta say if nothing comes from you , sigh . I don't want my birthday to be like last year ._. spending my day at Clementi police station .
Tomorrow I'm going to Vivo again with Brian ,Wei Jun , Jia Liang and Heidi (: Maybe we'll be going to the movies , I really hope I could wake up early cos we're gonna meet at 10am -.- lol . So , Imma get to sleep now . Goodnight Earthlings .