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Mariana☮

17, Female ,Singapore .

Let's just make this simple.
I'm having a relationship with ~~Aliff Bin Raffi~~ Faizal Bin Omar

'She didn't just kissed, she claimed ownership. Took his mouth with urgency,
as if her life depended on her kissing him.' You know how is it when you love
someone? And the hard part, the bad part, the Jerry Springer Show part is
that you never stop loving someone. There’s always a piece of them in your heart.
Were you so afraid of losing something you love, that you refuse to love anything?
Sometimes I'd be glad if only you'd fought for me.

She fell, she hurt, she felt. She lived. And for all the tumble of her experiences,
she still had hope. Maybe this next time would do the trick. Or maybe not. But
unless you stepped into the game, you would never know. When we were children,
we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable.
But to grow up is to accept vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable.

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Know that the pain will pass and when it passes ,
you will become stronger , happier , more sensitive and aware .

-Mariana

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Images: Your Viva La Pop .

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Thursday, July 7, 2011 9:39 PM

Bitch and Slut are two different things.

It was around 12 pm by the time my house phone rang, still ringing I checked my cellphone for any messages or missed calls from my teacher. Since there were none, I answered the call from the house phone.

Me: Hello?

Him: Hello. You were sleeping?

Me: Yup, why?

Him: I'm at your void deck.

Me: HUH? WHAT THE F.

Him: I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I'm coming to your crib.

Me: OMG. Ok.........

Him: Ok, I'm coming up now.

Me: Alright.

I didn't go to school today. :) I spend my day being with him. I synced his phone, blast the music, watched tv, sleep, ate, go crazy together the whole day at home. Then, he helped me with the house chores and everything. Send him home and I took 963 from Clementi to Woodlands :)

There's oral tomorrow for some, I'm going to Sentosa with my friends after school and Heidi's gonna come along after she finished her oral. Ok, I'm outta here :) Gonna be on the phone with Aliff.

Sunday, July 3, 2011 12:53 AM

I really don't know how to say about what I feel. I still think about him now and then, but told myself to make him fade away in my thoughts. My studies, are going down the drain. I need a little more of revision. Every day, my life is - wake up in the morning at 5/ or don't sleep at all, go to school, spend hours dying there, end of school find Sya and slack around until 5pm, meet my boyfriend at Clementi by 5:30pm or later. Have dinner, walk you home and have a ride on the bus from Clementi to Woodlands. Most likely I would reach home by 9.30pm every single day after school.

I really love Aliff Raffi, but no matter how much I love him, I know that I can't trust him whole-heartedly. Complicated? What does he mean by us? complicated? urghhhh.. whatever la ok.. Like I've told to many, I'm sick and tired of falling in love, too often. You know, one day, you'll realise how soft hearted most girls are.

Love can be defined differently to different people. People can just study together and do things together and say that's love. Some people can hang out together with friends and mix around and do silly things together and say that's love. Some even buy each other expensive stuff and say that's love. Even more, people had sex and call that real love while rumors caught and said it's cheap method. People will say be yourself, but most people will judge them. World, full of cruelty.

Anyway, I'm talking to Wan on Facebook about something that had been bothering me. I guess I'm done updating. Toodles :)

Friday, July 1, 2011 10:24 AM

Hell yeah that's my boyfriend. Today is our One Monthsary! :D Love you boo. :> Ok. I got to go to school now, very late. Meeting Syafiqah and Charmaine at 31 first.

10:07 AM

Cried twice last night. Oh well, first one was because I was very angry with a bitch saying out his name infront of my face. Fuck. Tryna show off that you guys are talking when him and I are not? Fuck you. Attention seeker brat. I went out of the Design Studio and banged the door shut. I walked to the staircase and tried to cool myself down and told myself to not let that affect me, but it was hurting like hell. Then, I cried, my teacher saw me crying when he walked passed by, I didn't wanna tell him the reason to why I cried because I know that it is very lame. I cried and hated myself to actually still cry for him. It's like I didn't even fucking exist in your life. You didn't even catch a glimpse of me. Why? I thought you loved me, I dreamt of you, again and again. Fuck this feeling okay. I hate this. I can't think straight with you in the presence of my life. You left me like it was just a snap of a finger and a thumb. I know this, this, this, whole, fucking, epic, thing is stupid. Going to school is a total nightmare! I can't even fucking hell forget you with your voices and remembering when I used to be beside you always. Fuck la ok. Secondly, I cried because boyfriend was angry at me :( cos I gave a dislike face when he said 'iloveyou' to me. Gr8. Then he just walked off and blablabla. Fuck, I got to go to school now. 10.17am. tata.