Jacqueline Ellysha Clothing Candy

Coding/Design: MSLFO
Images: Your Viva La Pop .

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I tried to open my dry and heavy eyes as he was calling my name and shaking my body gently to wake me up from sleep. I could smell that baby soap all around the room. "What do you want to eat? :) I'm heading to the shop nearby." He said with his wide smile on his face. "I don't know. Just get me anything. Porridge? Chicken rice?" I replied. He head out to the door and off he went to get the food.

As I sat there, trying to get myself straight up, I took a quick look at the clock. Great, it was 9am. I could sense and imagine and is very sure that he's out to meet someone. So I wasn't suprised when Shasha came, just got pissed by myself. But I tried to calm myself down because I don't eat humans. Haha. As usual I know what he's gonna say or do.. -.-

My bf then head off to a last minute job at Tuas area. Leaving Shasha and me a home. I'm never good at entertaining people, so we talked. After having my bath, I switched on the television and heard It Girl sang by Jason Derulo was playing on MTV. The first person whom I remember was, yeah y'know... :/ Aliff la. The graviest thing I've ever done in my entire life, I called him up. Yes, Aliff.

me: hello?.. -.o

him: hello. who is this? -.o

me: hmm.. may i speak to aliff? -.o

him: yah, this is aliff. you are? o_O

me: ehemm, guess la. (^_^)

him: who is this.....? O.O

me: *tried to control my smile+laughter* guess laaaaaa.

him: OH! Okay, I know already from your laughter. XD

me: hehehe.. hmm.. who am i? B)

him: Nana...

me: TEEHEEEEEEEHEHEEE..

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I was smiling and laughing while I was on the phone. I was reflecting back, gosh.. when was the last time I felt like this. Like I feel like my miracle just came back to me. We talked for 3 hours without myself knowing! :O and we catched up alot.. I knew things I'm not supposed to know. I told aliff how bad I felt to talk to him on the phone and if my bf were to find out, I'll be a dead pig's head. Haha. I felt soooo... delighted, happy, easy and most weirdly, I felt like I am me. Haha.

Time passed. My bf came home from work. We never really talk. Got home from shop and I've already lost my mood to spit a word. "I was the one who was always awake in the morning, I know la. Not like you, your job is to sleep only." I was :/ then he wanted to eat. He's always hungry day and night. Made him food. Watched some DVDs and the show got jammed halfway. And he tols me it was all my fault for not wiping the disc before putting it in. So I told him to do it the next time. But what I get was just another rude response. Sigh, :X he finished eating and went into the room. Left me outside sitting on the couch eatting while tears started to roll down my cheeks. I couldn't stop crying. I just couldn't help myself about it. It's like if I said nothing earlier on, he would be by my side watching DVD together. But I ruined it. I felt this emptiness in me. Felt so lonesome and sad inside on me. You are always there for others, but.never there for me. How long do I have go through all these heartaches and headaches? :'( You never understand how I feel. You always give your listening ears to other girls suffering with their love life or school life or friend ditched. But me? You always post statuses on fb as if I'm the one that is hurting you all the time. Like as if I'm your burden.. But it turns out you leaving me in a whole stressing drama alone. :'( will you ever change? :'< you said you wouldn't leave me, how long do I have to endure this pain I feel at my throat to stop myself from dropping my tears. How long? :'<

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No more statuses to post on facebook. No more tweets to be tweeted on twitter. Now what's left for updating is just my own b-l-o-g. :( I've de-activated facebook and uninstalled twitter. He said what's the use if I've de-activated facebook but still in active twitter. There was so much difference but he wouldn't understand. Sometimes, I had to give in, just so he could believe in me, believe that he is the only one in my eyes, mind and heart. I can stay away from facebook and twitter, but honey, can you? you still inbox other girls and delete them while i'm stuck with nothing to share on. *Sigh* I'm just utterly disappointed in you. Not in the mood for anything.

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I'm ready. And you're still not here..........

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SRSLY I H8 YSTRDY. Spend the time at POSB Bank cos my ATM was being swallowed by the machine. Fuck that. Haha! And need to retrieve the card by getting a new one from the bank.

Had a small quarrel with boyfriend about sister and sembawang and not wanting me to go. :/ he lies too much, that he's just too good at it. :( i had my lunch at kfc, he didn't order anything.

Then we went to his dad's house. And watched Fast and furious 5. Then we had dinner of chicken soup with rice and we head home. :|

I hope today is another day cos he's working and we're gg to Vivo later on for ben and jerryzzzzz. ;)

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oh my oh my oh my. before i forget. faizal's dad entered an audition on suria, Anugerah V. he got through the audition and receives many positive comments! ;) he rockzxs \m/

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i love today pls! so happy and nothing went wrong between boyfriend and me. we went to jurong point together and we bought the cats' stuff. then we head for lunch at banquet, i had my laksaaaaaa. syiok sia. then we walked around the whole mall! we entered almost every clothing store. haha! we giggled and laughed over small nonsense. and i bumped into chef sady too. :) had a little catching up.

today was a really good day for me. :) i hope tomorrow will be a great day too.

had a huge fight with bf earlier on. :( i hope he'll truly change after his apology. he scratched me back, leaving torn skin with bruises. snatched my phone away. i don't know how long i can endure this pain, but i will always remember why i accepted him. not because of a fight and we had to be separated to be happier, but to forgive and learn and remember why we held on to the love. goodnight.