Monday, August 6, 2012 4:22 PM
Time doesn't stop for anyone
I've given my all to have what I want.
I have thought about this thoroughly. That I'm not going back home until they see what I want all these while. I came home with a good mind at heart but they thought that I was having problems with my boyfriend. The more I stayed there the more my baby-girl would hear people bad mouthing about her own papa. I don't want that to hurt her. I thought my best cousin would understand what I've gone through all these while, even she is worse than my sister, even thought the best thing for me is to be under rehab and get out 2-3 years later. How could she? For me to return home is a total bad idea. They don't see the way I see things. They want me to solve problems, but they are telling me to leave my own boyfriend. Why must I leave him? I know I've got a thousands of reasons to leave him, but everyone knows my nature isn't like that. What other people do, I be different. I've said so many times to anyone that I am different, why can't they believe me. I don't need anyone's pity on me, because being with Faizal is a whole different thing. We felt as if we are long married, like as if the only thing that's missing is a piece of evidence paper.
I don't feel welcomed being at home. My step mother asked, "Are you going to stay for a day or forever and ever?" I replied her that I'm staying until Hari Raya ends, and she gave me a pathetic i-disgust-you way,"Do you understand what I've just said?" "Yeah, to stay for a day, or forever staying there, I get that." Like,
hey what the hell was that supposed to mean? You guys don't want me home? Feel ashamed of me being pregnant without getting married. Fuck that, I'll end it here, I hope you guys know why I'm feeling pissed and sad. This is our daughter, and I am proud to have her in my stomach because she is as special as I am.
Labels: love marriage teen girl boy family hate baby kid hari raya singapore